


Civil War || WinterWidow

by argentscoyote



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7386391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentscoyote/pseuds/argentscoyote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She remembers everything. Does he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> basically one of the many fantasies i have in which bucky and nat remember all the good times and love each other instead of fighting each other via thunder thighs.

Natasha approaches the formation the group is standing in cautiously. Steve and Barnes are going to be arriving at the airport soon, and word is they had assembled a team of their own. Tony isn’t going to let them get away, isn’t going to let Barnes walk free without paying for the Winter Soldier’s actions. Nat feels her stomach turn just at the thought of it.

“Are you ready?” Tony asks her. 

“Do I have a choice?” She replies. 

Tony, with his face unmasked, turns to her, raising an eyebrow. “Everything okay, Nat?” He asks. 

Natasha doesn’t face him, just keeps staring ahead where she knows Cap and his team will be shortly. “This feels wrong,” she says. 

“The Accords are going to –“

“I’m not talking about the Accords,” she explains. “At least not completely. This just feels wrong. Fighting our friends, fighting the people we saved the world together with not so long ago. Clint’s on that team, Tony. Clint and Wanda and Steve.”

“Clint made his choice, they all did,” Tony says. “So did you.” His voice is stern, in charge, but under all that is a layer of sympathy. Natasha knows he doesn’t want to fight Cap or Clint or Wanda or any of them just as much as she doesn’t, but they’re under the law now. They’ve got duties, responsibilities, and brining in Barnes and anyone who’s helped him run is one of them.

“I know,” she says, and then she turns her eyes to him. “Doesn’t mean I like where that choice is going to lead.”

Tony looks like his about to reply, when he sees a group emerge from the distance, and then all friendly conversation goes out the window and its back to business.   
Cap’s team is more organized than she first anticipated it to be. He’s been recruiting; there’s more people on it than they originally figured. She sees Sam, and Wanda, and some guy in a red and silver suit she’s never seen before. Her heart aches when she sees Steve, and a lot more when she sees Clint. And then she sees him, and it’s like her heart is ripped out of her chest. Like this is just another form of torture the KGB has organized, still making her pay for what happened all those years ago.

This shouldn’t be happening. This Civil War – what they were calling the situation – should not have been happening. She shouldn’t be fighting her friends because a bunch of damn governments told her too. She shouldn’t be fighting them at all, least of all him. That should’ve ended when the Winter Soldier did. But they needed to gain the trust of world leaders and the public again, and this was the only way to do it. And Natasha fucking hated it. She hated the government and she hated the public, because even now after being free of the Red Room, she’s still under the control of people who think they know better. 

Before she knows it, Cap’s entire team is lined up on the opposite side of them. And he’s the one standing across from her. He’s looking at her, sussing her out. She knows his weighing out the competition, but the way he’s looking at her, the gaze, it’s almost too much. Just the sight of him makes her stomach flip. She lets out a breath and shakes her head, closing her eyes. When she opens them again, his head is tilted and his eyebrow raised. His mouth is parted, like his aware of something, but then Cap starts speaking, and he’s gone again. 

“It doesn’t have to end this way, Tony,” Steve says. 

“Should’ve thought of that before you chose the wrong side,” Tony replies.

It’s so stupid. This whole situation is so, so stupid that Natasha decides to tune out for the rest of the banter. She looks at Clint, who gives her a sad look. For a moment she can’t help but think of his reaction when he found out she had chosen to side with Tony. In the background, she can hear Tony and Steve go on, about the different ways this can end.   
Then Tony calls in the Spider, who takes Cap’s shield and webs his hands together faster than Steve can react. And just as she tunes back in the fight, it’s started.

Everyone breaks into a run, so she does too. She sprints, and the faster she goes, the closer she gets, she realizes she’s running straight to him. 

“They’re not slowing down,” Peter says. He sounds panicked.

“Neither are we,” someone tells him.

Natasha almost stops right then and there. She doesn’t want to run to him just to have to fight him. She’s tired of fighting him, hates it with every burning fibre. They’re fighters, but never with each other. That’s not the way they work. They’re passion and heat and all unspoken things, but not this. Even though they haven’t been any of those things for years.

She continues to run because she knows she has to. As she gets closer, she sees Steve’s shield and Tony’s armour clash together. She sees Vision and Wanda in the middle of what looks like a conversation and match of the powers. Sam’s flying towards Rhodey, and Panther’s dodging Clint’s arrow. She doesn’t see Cap’s new guy, but hears Peter screaming “get him off me!”. Everyone is already fighting. She doesn’t stop running, but then he does, and all confusion and frustration causes her to stop too.

He’s walking towards her now instead, but she doesn’t move. This is not how this is supposed to go. 

She can’t help but take in the sight of him. He’s different now. Different to the Soldier she knew in the Red Room. He’s not the assassin, not the Winter Soldier, but not entirely Bucky either. He looks more aware, like he knows more now, but there are still some things that are lost to him that he doesn’t know how to get back. He’s a mixture of flesh and metal, a whirlwind of reality and brainwashing. She can see he’s gained more memories, got a better grip on reality since the last time she saw him, but he’s still not 100%. She wonders if he’ll ever be.

He’s getting closer and closer, but the way his walking towards her – it’s not how it should be. He’s not approaching her like his about to fight her. Instead his walking cautiously yet quickly, his head tilted again. His blue eyes are squinted, staring at her. He’s looking at her like he knows something, but isn’t completely sure. 

Before she knows it he’s in front of her, and she can do nothing but stare at him. He’s so tall, so huge, so familiar. Both of them ignore the voices in their ears as he stops a few steps away from her. He shakes his head, blinks, and then whispers: “Natalia?”

The sound of her name in his voice causes her to go back in time. Back to late nights, tangled sheets, and sweet whispers. Back to when the only people that knew about Natalia and James were Natalia and James. The memories are blissful, but also painful. Because they were ripped away from each other, forced to forget.

But here they are now. Both remember. She almost wants to cry as his mouth forms the smallest smile. “Natalia,” he breathes as he steps forward. She crashes into him without a second thought, wraps her arms around his neck as he catches her. He holds her tight, holds her close as it all comes back. As he continues to remember her. His hand, blood and flesh, tangles in her hair. She’s crying now, trembling in his arms as he continues to breathe her name. 

Everyone around, not realizing that the most beautiful moment is unfolding before them, continues to fight. But then Steve catches a glimpse of Bucky standing still, then sees Natasha in his embrace, and stops immediately. Tony follows his gaze, and stops too. Then everyone else follows as the two, the Asset and the Weapon, are reunited after decades. The two, of course, don’t notice. They’re too wrapped up in each other, too busy reliving the feeling of the other. 

In a soft, confused whisper, Natasha can hear Tony in her comm. “What. The. Hell?”


	2. Civil War 02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wasn't planning on doing another chapter or a part two of this story, but a few people have been messaging me to both here and wattpad and my heart is just too happy with the comments to not try and continue it. This is the last I plan to do for Civil War however :(  
> Thanks to everyone for commenting and all the kudos. You'll never understand how much it means to me <3

Natasha sits with Bucky on her bed. They’re in the Avengers compound, locked away in her room as Steve and Tony are outside arguing. She doesn’t know why they’re fighting with each other. About the Accords she understands. But about her and Barnes she doesn’t. Tony should be in here interrogating her about why she never told him or anyone for that matter about her past with Bucky. Steve should be in here wondering what really happened to his best friend in his years of absence. 

After everything, they still don’t get it. That it’s not about them. 

Bucky runs his thumb over Natasha’s knuckles repeatedly. They sit so close that their knees touch and their shoulders lean against each other. Natasha smiles as she leans her head against his, breathing him in. She stops thinking about Steve and Tony, hushes out their bickering. She never thought she’d have this again. Being here, with him. It’s a fantasy, really. A dream she’s had over and over again but doubted it’d ever come to reality.

And yet here they are.

Here he is. 

“I wish they’d stop,” Bucky whispers to her. 

“Me too,” she tells him. 

After the revelation of Bucky and Natasha, Steve managed to convince Tony to convince some government officials to take care of Zemo, which thankfully they did. When the all clear was given, everyone flew straight to the Avengers Compound. To sort out what, neither Nat nor Bucky knew. 

“We could make a run for it,” Bucky goes on. He lifts up their hands to kiss hers. She smiles, wider than intended. “Steve found me once. He can do it again, and hopefully then all this would’ve calmed down and he’d understand.”

“I’m pretty sure he’d understand if we got the chance to explain it to him now,” Natasha says. She hums. “It’s a nice thought, though. To run away with you. To not have to worry about being sent to Siberia if we got caught.” 

“We’re finally free, but we’re still not entirely free,” Bucky sighs. She can feel his shoulders slump.

He’s right. They’re free, but not really. Natasha’s linked to the government now. Anything she does has to first be approved by various different countries. And Bucky’s not only a wanted man, but is also plagued by memories he struggles to remember, a past his not entirely aware of. Still struggling to distinguish that line between reality and programming. 

“They’re going to come for us,” Natasha says. She doesn’t want to ruin the moment, but she has to. Living in a fantasy all those years ago is what started this in the first place, and it didn’t end so well then. “Our past is going to be seen as treason or some other political crap. I’ll probably be put on trial or something. And they’re not going to waste a second thought in locking you up.”

“I know,” Bucky replies. He moves so that he faces her, his one leg bent so his foot is on the floor and the other tucked on the bed. Natasha follows his position. “I don’t know why they had to bring us all the way here. No matter where we go they’ll come find us. They could’ve just done this in Germany.”

Natasha doesn’t say anything. Just reaches out her hand to caress his cheek. He stiffens as she makes contact, obviously still getting used physical touch that isn’t meant to be harmful. But he soon relaxes into familiarity, and leans his cheek into her hand, closing his eyes. Her thumb moves up and down in soothing pattern on his cheekbone. 

She worries about him, more than she does about herself. No matter what they do to her, she knows she’ll be fine. Him, she’s not so sure. He remembers her, but he doesn’t seem to remember everything. He knows he knows her, knows he loved her, but she can see part of him is still trying to understand, trying to make canon the idea of her and who she meant to him. It’d be so confusing for him. Him finally finding his way, finally understanding who Steve and Natasha mean to him. To have that all taken away, to be locked away yet again for crimes he truly didn’t commit or even want too…

“Maybe we can convince them to go old school on us,” she says suddenly. He opens her eyes and her hand falls into her lap. She takes his metal hand and intertwines their fingers.   
“Maybe we can convince them to send us to a country that hasn’t signed the Accords. Somewhere we’ll be safe.”

“Like Siberia?”

Natasha slumps, defeated. 

“Hey,” he places a finger under her chin and lifts her head up. “Whatever happens, we’ll be fine, Natalia.”

She smiles, but he can tell she doesn’t mean it, not entirely. He pulls her chin closer to him, bringing their faces closer together. Natasha finds her breath hitching, which is weird. She’s Natasha Romanoff, experienced flirt. But here she is, getting nervous about kissing her once-upon-a-time boyfriend for the first time in decades. He smirks, clearly aware about the effect he has on her, and finally captures her mouth in his. 

It’s just like she remembers. So soft, smooth, yet a bit rough because of his facial hair. He’s so gentle, so careful about the pressure and the movement. She lifts her hand to run through his hair, to bring him closer, when the door opens. 

They pull away a little too quickly to find Steve and Tony standing in the doorway. Steve blushes a little, and Tony looks like his about to shoot Barnes. “Conference Room. Now,” Tony says, and then his gone. 

Steve still stands in the doorway, looking between Natasha and Bucky. He looks like he wants to say something. Comment about his best friend scoring one of the hottest girls they’ve ever met, or lament about not being told about this. He leaves before she can find out.

Bucky stands up first. He holds out his hand. “Time to face the music, I guess.”

“I guess so.” Natasha takes his hand, and together, fingers intertwined, they walk out the room. She has to lead the way to the Conference Room since this is his first time in the compound, and when they get there both teams sit around the table. She’s not surprised to see Clint standing at the end of the table with Tony and Steve. She never told anyone about James, and that included Clint. She smiles at him, but he just stares at her. When his eyes flicker to her and James’ joined hands, she lets go. This isn’t going to be something he’ll just let go. 

“All right, now that we’re all here,” Tony said, clapping his hands together. “Natasha, care to explain the betrayal?”

Natasha rolls her eyes, but explains none the less. “James was one of the assets in the Red Room, where I was trained. He was my trainer, actually. Taught me most of what I know.”

“Go on,” Tony says. 

She looks to him. “We fell in love. I was promised to someone else. Said someone else found out. James was taken away, and we were both wiped. I only started to remember him   
about a year and a bit after I was able to leave the KGB and join S.H.I.E.L.D. By then I thought it was too late.” Her voice begins to strain, and she has to clear her throat in order to get control of it again.

“What do you mean by that?” Steve asked.

“After Odessa happened, I figured he was too far gone.” 

Bucky stiffens beside her. He realizes only now the red head he shot that he couldn’t get out of his head for days was her. He winces softly. “Sorry about that,” he whispers to her. Her mouth crackles the smallest of smiles. 

“What about you?” Steve asks, looking at Bucky. Bucky stiffens again. Steve is clearly hurt about not being let in on this relationship that was clearly more than just some sneaking around fun. But then again, James hadn’t in the position to tell him. Now he is.

“I had been having dreams about a red head after I escaped. I figured it was just dreams, my imagination being shit. Then I saw Natasha, and ever since it’s been coming back,” Bucky said. Steve doesn’t reply, just stares blankly at both of them. “I would’ve told you then if I knew she was real, Steve.”

“What’s going to happen now?” Natasha asks. She doesn’t want to ask, doesn’t want to know, but she has too.

“Now we have the pleasure of trying to explain this to a hundred and twenty governments,” Clint says. There’s a bitterness in his voice. Natasha almost winces. 

Tony closes his eyes and rubs his temple. “God, will the drama ever stop.”

When no one says anything else, everyone except Tony, Steve, Clint, Natasha, and Bucky begin to leave. She waits for the room to empty before speaking again. 

“What’s really going to happen?”

The three exchange a series of looks, all suspicious, all confusing to both Natasha and Bucky. Finally, Steve speaks up. “We’re hoping Maria can find a loophole. One that can give   
you two the least worst case scenario. It won’t be the best, but it won’t exactly be the worst.”

Natasha almost has to do a double take. It’s her turn to exchange looks with Bucky, who looks equally confused. He scrunches his eyebrows, his brain working away to try to understand. “You… You want to help us?”

“After we didn’t tell you?” Natasha adds.

“Believe it or not, Natasha, friends look out for each other. You wouldn’t know that, being built instead of born.”

“What Stark is trying to say,” Steve whacks Tony on the arm. “Is you both have been through enough.”

“You don’t need to be locked up for loving each other,” Clint says. Natasha can tell his still mad about her not telling him, they all are. But his willing to accept them, and that   
makes tears gather in Natasha’s eyes. 

“So, we’re not going to Siberia?” Bucky asks. He seems so small then. So worried and so relieved. 

“Of course not. At least, that’s the plan, buddy,” Steve says. 

Bucky sighs as he reaches out and pulls Natasha into him. She holds him tight, laughs into his neck as he picks her up and spins her around. When he puts her down they immediately approach the group. Nat basically tackles Clint as Bucky embraces Steve, and then won’t stop kissing both Steve and Tony’s cheeks until Bucky has to basically pry her off. 

“Thank you,” she says. She stands next to Bucky, his arm around her waist. 

“Don’t thank us yet,” Steve tells her. “We’re not in the clear.” He punches Bucky’s arm as he walks out, a smile evident on his face. Natasha finds herself grinning at him. Even after everything his best friend’s happiness and well-being is the most important thing to him. 

“Don’t have sex on any of my furniture,” Tony says blankly as he walks out. 

Clint walks up to Natasha, and points a finger at her. “I want details.” And then he too walks out, leaving Bucky and Natasha alone.

She turns to him, full on gleaming, and finds that his grinning too. Smiling so much it has to hurt. He kisses her cheek and pulls her in again, spinning her around and then kissing her again and again. “We’re going to be okay,” he says. And he keeps saying it as he continues to hug her, hold her as close as he possibly can as she laughs into his ear.

Outside the room, Clint, Steve, Wanda, Tony, and Sam watch. Despite everything, the five find themselves smiling as well. No one knows what the future holds, but after seeing this, anything that comes their way Bucky and Natasha will be able to handle it. They’re strong, capable fighters. What a force they’ll be together.


End file.
